A letter to my son ( 1 )

erwte

A letter to my son ( 1 ) Dear son: On the day you get married, I asked the unit for a holiday, and the excitement seemed to have risen and I could no longer calm myself down.. I took out my most beautiful clothes and put them on my body. Prepare for the greatest joy in my life. I carefully depict myself in the mirror. When I put lipstick on my lips, I suddenly heard a text message from your father: ” Don’t show up today when the child is married, otherwise she won’t let me hold a wedding ceremony for the child, please, please, please, remember” My heart is like the restless wind in the face of this silent agreement.”. It blows south, north and farther home – Jilin. Or the wind in the mountains, hanging up but unable to find the direction.   I was busy getting out of bed more than 1: 00 in the morning. The festive mood rose in my chest and it made me fidgety. I don’t know how I came to the station, nor did I know that I bought the wrong ticket. I have only one thought in my heart, that is, I must attend my son’s wedding ceremony. If I could stand in the holy wedding hall, I would also abide by the silent agreement. I will quietly stand aside, stand in a corner where no one can see me, and see my son’s marriage with my own eyes.   In the car, my heart has a feeling of flying. Take me to the place where my son married. I will send my blessing to my son. I will attend my son’s wedding ceremony. I will see my son’s happiness with my own eyes. I will hear him call me at my son’s wedding ceremony – mom.   Take me to fly. I want to fly to Jilin and then stand on the land of Jilin. Even if I am far away from the place where my son is married, even if I only hold a grass in Jilin, my heart will be comforted.. In my life, today is the most sacred day. Everything is less important than today’s. I sat in the car and my heart had already flown to Jilin. The trees by the road were in my hurt mood behind the car, and I kept dumping and dumping – I was so lost in those days that I often cried quietly alone.. No one can understand my pain and no one can know it. This regret is frozen in my heart like ice.   My neighbor is a girl in her twenties. She went back to the rock to see her father, who is in hospital for medical treatment.. She asked me where I was going? Her question seemed to suddenly open the gate that I did not want to open in my heart, and tears of pain surged from my heart like flood discharge. I can no longer control the tears of my grievance. I cry to her helplessly for a long time..   The road back home is really long and long. No matter how hard I try, I can’t reach the end. The people sitting in the car are long-distance passengers in the bus. They silently listen to me crying, and then silently send the eyes of pity..     When the little girl comforted me again, I told the girl the story in my dream this morning. The dream said, ” There are many women around a desk, and there are several household books on the desk. When a woman handed in the household books there, she casually asked,” Do you want to follow the ritual? ” The people who answered said,” Follow the ritual ” at this moment.. I also took out 100 yuan’s money to follow the ritual line. At this time, there was an old man who stopped me from honoring him for no reason at all.. No matter how hard I try, it won’t help. In the end, my money fell to the ground. When I picked up the 100 yuan that fell to the ground, my pocket magically turned into 200 yuan’s money. I wondered, I was going to follow the ceremony with doubts. When I was about to arrive at the ceremony place, the old man snatched 100 yuan’s money from my hand and put it into his mouth to eat it.. I looked at him helplessly.’ I was so helpless and helpless in my dreams. White clouds appear on the horizon, and sorrow is long and sorrow is long..   When I finished the story in my dream, the girl said to me, ” You don’t go to Jilin, it’s already 11 o’clock and even the rock hasn’t arrived. When you arrive in Jilin, it’s evening. At that time, the wedding ceremony has already ended.”. I’ll buy you a ticket. You go home. People in your dreams don’t let you go to the wedding. This shows that the old man is ordering you. In my opinion, you’d better not go. There’s a saying called ” let nature take its course”. If you go, it will be difficult for the child. Plus, if you get on the wrong bus, don’t try so hard since you missed it. This is called fate.’ The little girl tried to persuade a lost child when she enlightened me. Later, she took my hand and got off the bus together. Then, she had to go to the passenger station to buy me a return ticket.. I stopped on my way to the wedding with a gratitude to strangers – panshi city, in the vast sea of people, in the vast sea of stars, only helplessness flowed in my eyes.   I kept wandering on the streets of Rock. My tumultuous mood was like panshi city’s winding road. I stood there, and I didn’t know where I was going.? I don’t know where it will take me. At this moment, I want to find a friend and tell him my heart. At this moment, I dialed the telephone number of an old classmate, but because of her work, I ended a short conversation in disappointment.. When I put away the phone, I seemed to put away a heavy and desolate one – white clouds appeared on the horizon, and I stood alone in the wind of a foreign land.. I walked aimlessly on the streets of Rock by myself – coming and going, I don’t know how many times I walked back and forth.. My heart was blown away by the wind. I don’t know where I should go? When the sun hid behind the mountain, the night gradually drooped, as if there was a hopeless net covering my heart. On this day, I felt like I had experienced a storm and the whole people were paralyzed. I have never been so frustrated. Today, I feel my heart is empty..   Dear son, do you know?You are the mother who washes dishes, the mother who picks up trash, the mother who supports you to go to high school in primary school, and on the day you are about to get married, the mother has no way to send you a blessing. What kind of mood will your mother be in?? What kind of regret will you leave in your mother’s heart?   If my disappearance can replace my son’s father’s love, and if not allowing me to attend his marriage ceremony can make up for the ” father leads his wife and child” defect in his mind, I am willing to hide myself in the corner and hide in the teary anticipation – dear son: you have spent so many years in your childhood without many father’s love, looking forward to so many years, today, you finally won back father’s love and family affection, how can I bear to let you give up – how can I bear to turn your son’s hope of 16 years into regret.   The wind whistled in the back of the bus, and my hometown was getting farther and farther away from me – I was sitting in the car, but my heart was outside the wind, and my loss felt like a ruthless iron hand crushing my wandering heart bit by bit.. I stood in the wind with helplessness, and all my regrets hung in my heart.   A letter to my son on July 19, 2013 ( Original )